The XX Route
by guestnumber20
Summary: Accepting the fact that you are already gone is hard, but forgetting you is even harder. Should I just living in yesterday in order to always remembering all about you? Eventhough it will surely bring me to the worst route of my—and their life? The story strongly based on lost time memory, the XX route, from Shintaro POV.


**The XX Route **

**So, I finally tried to posting some story here. This is just some random story I thought after watching Lost time memory again and again. Might be quite suck, but please bear with me. English is not my mother language after all, and this is my first fanfic ever. **

**Now, Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer : Kagerou daze is not mine! It belongs to Shizen no Teki.**

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If only I don't have an IQ of 168 that lead me lived an apathetic life and in the process turned me into a cold, pessimistic person, I supposed to be a normal youth high school boy living a straight life.

But I do have a normal life, until 2 year ago.

I went to a high school, the same school where my only (best) friend, a weird girl who always warped a red muffler around her neck no matter what season it was, attended. As strange as it may seem, we once again put in the same class as we are on the middle school, as though someone already decided that for us to be together.

There in that school, I befriend her friends, two _senpai_s from special class in our school, whom having strange illnesses that made them need an extra attention. One of them is a tomboy girl called Enomoto Takane, whom I clearly remember as the girl I beat up in a shooting game tournament a while ago, and a blockhead boy named Kokonose Haruka whom really good at drawing.

Every day in half a year, I spent the time of early high school life with them. We study, eat lunch, and go home together. It's true that almost all the time I got annoyed by doing things I don't actually wanted and tend to ignored them, but I do enjoy their company.

Although I was too late to notice that. To notice how important they are for me. And at the time I realized that, everything was already crumbled away.

They are gone, one by one.

Starting from that smiling boy, Haruka.

Then the tomboy girl, Takane.

And then the last... It's her. The girl I care the most, deep down in my heart.

In the end of the summer that year, just right after the dead of Haruka and Takane from their illnesses, she jumped out from the roof of our school.

She died.

Just like that.

Leaving me alone, questioning so many things.

They say that I'm a genius, always easily got a perfect score for every exam that I took. It's true that for me, all the questions in the tests are easy to answer. But reality is different. It's something I can't predict. And it's just too difficult for me to figure it out.

Why?

Why did she commit suicide?

Even though she always showed that bright wide smile every time we face each other, why did she choose to die?

Was she unhappy? Was she bears a great burden? But if that so, why did she choose to keep it all alone and continue to smile all the time until she commit suicide?

I questioned them all that time, trying to get answers. Yet no matter how hard I tried, all of that seem to be transparent to me.

I don't know.

A year passed and now I'm in my bed, waking up from a heat in the middle of august.

I see the clock in the table. It's 12.30 am of 15 august.

Until this very second, I simply life as a useless person, being a shut in and rotten in my room doing nothing. I keep myself from society and tried my best to avoid any contact with outside world so her existent will always live inside my memories.

I remember her.

I never forget her.

Yet why did I get this feeling that I've been pushed her off of my head, and locked her somewhere inside my deepest memory? I never even said her name anymore.

As I think about that, I move my body and my computer shut in by itself, showing a figure of a blue girl floating around in my desktop. As always, she let out loud voices, trying to wake me up.

Ene is simply annoying.

She's as always a noisy girl that I usually lost my temper controlling her. But I can't delete her, so I ignore her.

When she stop shouting to wake me up, she choose a rather timid tone to asked me a question with worried face.

"what happen master? You seem strange..."

As if an AI who lived in a computer could understand.

"are you sick? I'm worried of you."

I only want to live like yesterday, unmoving, uncaring. In order to embrace that blurry past, I will do anything. Yet, after two years, why am I being more and more pathetic?

So I just glared to the monitor and simply said, "don't bother me."

She didn't waver and instead looked more worried.

"You keep on living like yesterday, simply shut yourself inside your room. Are you okay with that?"

"Stop pretending to be care." I said. "If it's to always remember her, then I'm fine with living in yesterday."

"Then", once again she said, with an expression I unable to read, "you don't even want to see and life in tomorrow?"

She kind of look hurt.

But you know I'm focusing to answer her question to notice that. And simply, I have an answer ready.

I get off the bed, and staring intently to the blue girl inside my computer.

With my hands outstretched toward her artificial body, I answer her.

"I'm perfectly fine with it. So let me alone."

With that, I stained my hand, simply by thinking I could shut up the blue girl swaying annoyingly in my computer.

Strange thing happen right after that. I could reach her and strangle her, until her supposed body crushed into pixel fractions and scatter around. My CPU computer turned off and my monitor displayed an image like the one showed up on a broken TV. My speaker only let out a 'beeeep' sound while I can only stunned in my place.

She doesn't even have a physical body, but why does it feel like she just dead?

Did I kill her?

No way.

No way.

No way.

My head feels like crazy.

And I let out a loud shout.

I grabbed a scissor near me, and I thought of an insane idea.

I've had enough of life.

All This time I always pray that everything on that day was just all a lie. The day where she dead, the day where I couldn't see her smiles anymore, I hope all of it's just a nightmare.

But in fact, it is real. She dead and that's reality

So.

If I couldn't meet her again, I just have to go to where she is without having to wake up again from this boring reality.

And with that, I grabbed the scissor tightly in my hand, pointed it on my neck.

Then I stabbed myself.

...

"… Did you hear me?'

In my faraway consciousness, I've heard a vague voice in my head.

When I open my eyes, I could see my surrounding perfectly well. It's a place where clocks put everywhere, in which inside it show everything happen at that time as if everything ever happened to me before recorded in there.

"am I dead already?" I couldn't help but asked that.

But when I just thought of that, a dark shadow appeared in front of me. The shadow surprisingly had a slim, small figure wearing black attire. I can guess that shadow is a girl since she had a very long curly black hair.

The shadow walk closer to me while murmuring something I couldn't get. I don't try to listen or answer her and just sit there unmoved.

"Am I in a place where she is?"

The shadow stopped moving in front of me. But it's unlikely because she heard my question. Later, she suddenly look away to another direction, in where from the corner of my eyes, I saw someone walk pass by me in bright red clothes.

I quickly move and stand. Bright red is the color she favors. And suddenly, my surrounding scenery change.

Now I'm standing in a very familiar place.

I'm now Inside of my classroom school in high school. And there, near the window, a girl with red muffler stands alone.

It's her.

"Sorry but, I'm dead you know?" she said while smiling, "I couldn't say goodbye before, so, maybe it's time to say that now."

"No…"

"I can't comeback, tough I think I can. This is a mission I failed to do."

"No, please… don't say that…"

"Goodbye, Shintarou."

"Don't leave me!"

I shouted at her with my hand toward her, tried to reach her figure. But I can't move. Inside the classroom that dyed in orange sun, I once again saw someone walk past me. Wearing a red jersey and walking with confidence, he easily approaching her.

That's me.

The me that I don't know, standing there face to face with her. They talk, something that I can't heard, and she laughed. Then, After she gave the other me her muffler, she disappear from the place where she standing, Leaving the other me alone who then smiled and vanished. I really don't get what happen there. Until she appeared again, now right in front of me.

"you know Shintarou-kun? You're good wearing red." She said again to me, with her sweet smile never leave her lips.

"Before we parted, I have just one request to you, Shintarou-kun. My friends, our friends, they are trapped in mad loop of tragedies. It'll happen again and again in the flash of bright red. They're sad, they wanted to be saved, and they want to be released from a monster inside them. Please, Shintarou-kun, save them. When you wake up, search for them and help them. I failed on my mission. I'm no longer able to get out of this place. So…"

She moved her hand and grabbed mine gently.

"In my stead, please, be their hero."

I snap awake in the heat hazed day of certain august.

The loud cried of cicadas outside my room somehow able to force me to wide awake when I don't feel like I want to get up with this unbearable headache. Really, what time is it? As I wonder about it, I looked at the clock that I put on the drawer beside my bed. It's 12.32 pm of 15th august. For some reason, the date gave me a strange déjà vu.

After that, I looked up dan noticed an image of mail in my monitor screen, saying 'You've got new mail'.

"Is it a spam? Advertising mail?"

I stand up from my bed and walk toward my computer, sitting in front of it to open the mail.

Something that I regret later on.

Because inside the mail, a figure of a blue girl in twin tails appear in my monitor and swaying up and down in my computer desktop.

"Pleased to meet you!" she chirped with a high voice and bright smile in her face, "I'm Ene, an energetic cyber girl in your service. From now on, please look after me, Master!"

"Ha?"

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**This is really fun to write. Maybe I'll try to post another chapter, or a whole another story about Kagerou days. **

**I'll be glad to have some critics and comments about this story, so, review please? :D**


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